Fuck. Fuck. Annoyed.

Monday
Me: [call work, switch my 9:30 to 6 shift for a 1:00 to 9:30 shift; make plans] Hey dad, just an FYI, I’m using the car Wednesday morning. In case you wake up and think you’ve been robbed…no no,I have it.
Dad: Okay.
*five minutes later*
Dad: WAIIIT, no I have an appointment at 10.
Me: Don’t lie!
Dad: seriously, I have an appointment at 10.
Me: Fine.

Okay. Damage control. Call work, switch my 1:00-9:30 shift back to a 9:30 to 6 shift. Plan to do something in the evening. Learn that Boss is alone. Call work. Switch my already switched shift back to a 1:00 to 9:30.

Text Nad. Text Jo. Text Mary.
Guys, can’t do breakfast. Lunch? around 11:30…gotta be at work by 1, maybe 2 [pushing it].
All agreed. Perfect.

Wednesday
Me: Dad, you gonna be home be 11?
Dad: Yeah, it’s not far.
Me: Perfect [send confirmation text x 3] Dad, you’re gonna be late, go get dressed.
Dad: for what?
Me: Your appointment. At ten.
Dad: OH, no I changed it to 12:30.
Me: I just asked if you’re gonna be home by 11 and you said yes.
Dad: What?
Me: I’m gonna fucking hang myself. Right here. Fuck.
Dad: What?
Me: OHMIGOD.

Text x 3
Guys. Cancel lunch. fuck. so annoyed.

My father doesn’t understand why I’m upset right now. He thinks it’s not a big deal. I cancelled an opening shift. I think this is why I’m so annoyed. I fucking hate closing and my back pain feels worse when I close. Now I don’t have the night off to do what ever I want. I’m so annoyed right now. I wanna pull my hair out. No, I wanna shoot myself more. Know that gnawing feeling inside when you wanna scream and bitch but can’t, because he’s your dad. And you can’t be mean to him. Not even a little. So you sit there in silence with a stupid pouty face on forcing yourself to shut up because the next thing you say will be explosive. An he’ll yell. You’ll yell.

Get me a car. Anyone out there.
This would all be avoided with a vehicle.

I can’t say it enough. I’m annoyed. My heart is shrinking.