I think the universe is trying to tell me something

I keep getting EHarmony emails. Not just your ordinary spam-mail, but some seriously intrusive shit. I got about a dozen this week alone-- all asking me to find my love for FREE. That's the kicker, you get your matches for free. That's bullshit. Know what I heard though? apparently if you sign up for the freeness,you don't get to see photos on any profiles. That's how shallow the world knows we are. Because those bloody geniuses at EHarmony know we'll pay big bucks after we read the profile of a 30yr old surgeon, just moved to the big city, looking to start his life with a beautiful wife. Fuck, I almost paid myself to post a picture of that guy. Anyway my point is that I think the universe is telling me something. But the problem is that I don't wanna do it that way--call me old fashioned, fine. But there's something about 'the story' that makes any love truly great. I want a good story, not an "I met on EHarmony" story. Now don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people who have met their boys/girls online, and they're so happy it makes me want to throw up. Its great, and if it ever happened that this is the route I took then so be it. But there's more to it. There's more to a person then their profile, and I don't care if you're self aware of if EHarmony is the only one who has ever asked you that before. Whatever. When it happens it happens. Seriously. I don't need the relationship of a boyfriend to keep me happy...I need drugs. That and alcohol. Done and done. Boyfriends are bonuses. They're those extra points AFTER the important things have been taken care of. I had a a friend in highschool who always wanted a fucking boyfriend, come senior year, come boyfriend, come alter ego, come miserable, come fuck boys. Ha. F'real. So. Get it universe? go fuck yourself.

so, racha got me a school bag. Because she loves me. And she's romantic. There. She's my boyfriend.

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