bizzarro

I'm in a crap mood today. Blunt. Right to the point. Very shitty. I haven't quite pegged what the reason is-- it's a convolution of constant talk about genocide and poverty and Boss' paw. Tell me-- do you have a puppy with red/itchy/irritated paw(s). Like just one paw and now just barely on a second one. What was wrong with him/her? Racha keeps telling me that they're going to amputate his paw and it breaks my heart every time. Even though I know that this isn't going to happen, the thought/imagination of it is still there. I think it's allergies because everything I've researched is screaming allergies, but what is he allergic too? His diet hasn't really changed since we first noticed the itching. So it's bothering me. I can't stop thinking about it because I know it bothers him and so it bothers me. Anyway. Please advise. Next. I'm taking the Sociology of Poverty and the Sociology of Genocide-- are there any two more depressing topics to spend four continuous hours discussing? It's horrible. Yes, they're interesting and mentally stimulating, but at the same time, shut the fuck up. Seriously. I can't hear any more of it without wanting to throw myself out of the window. I'm only three weeks into the semester, just slightly behind (really not that bad) and though initially the joy of only having classes two days a week was exciting and exhillarating-- the realization that every assignment will be due together on the same days is just now hitting me as I drop into my calendar as see three essays due next Tuesday. So of course, logic says, go ahead and start right now. But if you haven't figured it out and completely befriended the procrastinator in me, well then-- do it tomorrow.

It's too much. Studying. Life. Working. Worrying. It's all too much and I'm in a shitty mood. Fuck off then. I don't know. Just fuck off, world. And take your annoying stress factors with you. I'm ready to sleep now. Which reminds me, I'm running on only three hours and no shower today. You're probably wondering what the no showering has to do anything-- and quite frankly,I'm so serious about this-- my day just goes downhill if I haven't time to shower. I don't know if it's because I spend the day wit frizzy hair all messy and unkempt, or if it's just the soothing stream of water hitting my face/chest/back that instantly makes me feel better-- whatever it is, my day ruins if I haven't showered.  I need to sleep. My body is feeling it right now. The back pain. Shoulder pain. Neck pain. It's there.

I forgot my headphones. I need to listen to some music to get through this day. But I forgot my headphones. In case you hadn't realized, I'm going to ramble until I've annoyed you to death. My stomach is doing weird things. I think I ate undercooked chicken, the thought alone makes me want to vomit on Ivan, I can hear him screaming, begging me not to kill him. Not yet. Argh. Gurgle. It's the sound my stomach is making. I think my bra is too tight. Except that it's not. Maybe it's the camisole that I'm wearing underneath-- the ones with the elastic supports sewn in (those are the fucking worst), and I think maybe there is an insufficient supply of blood to my brain. Maybe. No brain blood. What?

adios amigos. oh, and go see Easy A. It's fantastically hillarious. I laughed out loud several times. My baccccck. Hurts. I can't say 'my back' without thinking 'lick my Pussy and my crack' or is it 'lick my pussy just like that.' Don't cringe. You know the song. You sang it seductively in the shower before. No? Just me. kay. great. What was it called. I can hear it. My neck. My back. My pussy blah blah blah. Pussy is such an ugly word and it makes me feel all awkward just typing it here. Bizzarrrro. There's a good word. Bizarro. Bizzarre in general is a good word, then you add an "o" and it becomes fantastic.